Aman’s Advice I
Now’s my time to sound like an old man! Well…technically I AM older than most of the people reading this…but…yeah.
I’m young at heart 🙂
The purpose of this post is to give all of you people some advice 🙂
I know, I know you never asked for none, but it ain’t gonna hurt no?
Beats reading about Met’s sleeping habits and homo-massage fantasies right?
SUP BRO!!!! 😉
Kay, today on Aman’s Advice:
THE KILLER KNICKERS
That’s right, the very underwear you may (or may not..I’m not gonna go there) be wearing could be HAZARDOUS to your health!!!!
Ok, now this doesn’t mean that you have to go taking off your undies (just yet 😉 ), allow me to elaborate.
This happened to my mum’s friend a while back. Now, it must be stated that she is old, around 50-60+. She had just finished using the bathroom, I think she had a shower…ok, moot point, doesn’t matter.
She gets out of the loo and attempts to put on her knickers. Now, generally speaking, you put on your underwear by holding it open with your hands as you slip your legs, one at a time, through the designated holes, while standing up. If there are no holes…that is probably just a handkerchief and you really have no idea what you’re doing.
Kay, moving on.
Now, for all her life, ever since she could wear her own knickers, she has put them on standing up, just like we all do. One leg in and then the next one, it’s quick and efficient. She’s always getting ready in a hurry, so it does the job. She may trip sometimes, but she always catches herself before she falls. Even if she does fall, and let’s face it, even the best of us underwear wearers have the occasional fall, she only ends up with a minor bruise.
This time however…she’s not 20+ anymore…
While putting on her knickers, with one leg already through, she’s trying to get her other leg through the hole, but it gets stuck (you know how your toes or heel gets stuck?) and she’s hopping around…but not for long.
She finally falls and due to her old age, the fall does more damage than it would normally do to a younger human being.
Alhamdulillah, she didn’t die (pretty dramatic title aye? 😉 ) but she did suffer from a broken hip.
Now, a broken hip is not a walk in the park, it is very painful and it may affect you for the rest of your life, especially if you sustained the injury at an older age. Walking may never be the same again. It normally involves a prolonged (and uncomfortable) stay in the hospital.
This is normally accompanied by surgical procedures (normally involving the implants of metal supports) as part of your recuperation.
*You’re your own hardware store*
And even after you’ve been discharged from the hospital, you still have physiotherapy and rehab to go through. Yay.
The reason why I made the title of this piece of advice so dramatic was because, technically, it COULD lead to death.
Imagine, if you will, she was STILL in the toilet. Toilet = sink & toilet bowl. And in case you forgot what those are, they are HARD CERAMIC OBJECTS. A trip and a fall in there could result in a high probability of her knocking her head against the sink or toilet bowl or even the ceramic tiled floor! She could suffer from a concussion, dislocated vertebra, or even worse. Since we almost always lock our doors when in the bathroom, it would be HOURS before she was found…meaning if she WAS still alive after the fall…she might not be once the door was finally opened.
Being an ex-cop and studying first aid, I can tell you that giving help AS SOON AS POSSIBLE increases the chances of survival of the victim/patient/knicker-wearer.
So…still think my title is too dramatic?
So, Mr. First-Aid-Ex-Sergeant-Advice-Giver-Know-It-All…what do I do? Not wear my undies?
Well, if you’re so inclined, yes 🙂
Or perhaps you would like to follow this old granny’s technique:
“Them killer knickers ain’t gonna get me!”
(She must have read this blog 😉 )
OR, you could do this:
Instead of putting on your undies standing up, do it sitting down. It’s a slight change of procedure that might save you ALOT of pain and regret in the future.
So, just sit down and put your legs through the holes and then you can stand up. Takes less than a second 🙂
Now, why do you have to start all this now? Falling at your age might not hurt much, maybe just a bump or a bruise.
Well, it’s called prevention (hi Skipper 🙂 )
Building a good habit now, will Insha Allah, be beneficial to you in the future.
See, NOW it’s a habit for you to put your undies on standing UP, change that now, and start making it a habit to put them on sitting down. That way, sooner or later, you’ll realize that it becomes automatic.
It’s such a small thing to change too, from standing up to sitting down, and it may not seem like much – all the more you should make the effort to be safe 🙂
I’ll bet if I asked that poor old lady, if she could change her habits earlier on to avoid this accident, she would say yes.
You’re getting this advice for free 🙂
So take it and run with it.
Just make sure you got your undies on the right way around 😉
As the print on this awesome pair of boxers says:
And may God guard us all.
Stay safe everybody,