The Fool of April
The King of Pranks says Metis Wong Kuan Lee?
My my…what a prestigious title 😉
Well, Met knows what I’m capable of and Lord knows I love hearing him scream in terror, right bro?
In a clean way of course 🙂
HAha, well, I did a pre-April Fool’s prank on dear old Metis Wong Kuan Lee.
Met is a homophobe, as am I. Despite our constant accusations of homosexuality between us…we’re just afraid of what we can’t understand.
Well, both of us have had our horrific incidents involving homosexuals…so you can’t really blame us for being the homophobes we are.
And I don’t even wear pink shirts 😉
Ok, so you all know my cousin is down here in good old Brunei. I told him, his name is Hamza by the way, that Metis is coming over. Told him that he’s a huge homophobe and told him to try his best to act as gay as ever to him when he comes over. He’s not gay or bi or anything…but he sure can act 🙂
*What’d I tell ya…he sure can act!*
Me, with my genius in such pranking schemes, planted the seed of doubt in Met’s fertile mind earlier on, whilst on the phone.
Aman: “You know my cousin is a bit uh…a bit bisexual…”
Aman: “Yeah man…”
I didn’t overdo it though 😉
Aman: “I showed him your picture…he likes you. Says you’re cute.”
Metis: “Serious?! Dude! What did you say? What did you tell him about me?!”
Aman: “Told him you’re gay”
Metis: “Serious?! Dude! Dude!!! No!! Dude!!!”
Aman: “I mean, he has a girlfriend in S’pore and all…but he likes chinese guys lah. Can’t blame him, he grew up in S’pore you know? Mixed culture and all that.”
Metis: “Eh…you sure or not?”
Aman: “Yes lah! I’m just warning you in advance, if he touches you a little bit more then he should, don’t freak out. I mean, both of us are homophobes right? Just thought I’d let you know lah”
Metis: “If you bring your cousin to UBD, I’m not hanging out with you man! No way!”
Aman: “Come on man, don’t be a sissy!”
Metis: “NO man! NO way!”
Metis: “Hey, how come he doesn’t disturb you?”
Aman: “He grew up with me man! Shoot! How could he find me attractive?”
Metis: *In a whiny voice* “Yeah…ok”
So the seed was planted 🙂
Now, Met was coming over to my place to pick up his burger from BK and I coaxed him to come into the house as I wanted to pass him some of the data from the prac and stuff.
Met reluctantly entered the house…with his pink shirt on.
Now…my cousin is a very handsome man…I don’t want to sound gay…but he has very nice eyes, so he used it in this prank…very well.
“Oh hi Hamza”, said Met.
“Hey Met…how are you?” replied Hamza shaking Met’s hand and staring into his eyes with a devilish grin that seemed to suggest hidden intentions.
Met, in his trademark whiny voice answered, “Yeah, I’m good, I’m good”
“Oh alright…alright…” said Hamza…
Hamza continued to stare into Met’s eyes. Met started to shift his footing.
Hamza was still holding his hand.
“Alright, so I’m just gonna pass Met some data upstairs yeah Hamza?” I said, not wanting Met to suffer anymore homo-trauma.
“Yeah sure man” said Hamza…eyes still on Metis Wong Kuan Lee.
Met was clearly shaken.
BRO, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, YOU WERE SCARED AND UNEASY OK? 😉
Hamza is a big guy, bigger than Met so his fear is quite valid 🙂
Hamza joined us in the room shortly afterwards and went up to Met and stroked his arm and back as he said,
“So Met, you’ve been in Brunei long?”
Met, trying his best to stay cool went, “Oh yeah, I was born here. I’m Bruneian”
“Ah, I see…” said Hamza…still stroking Met’s back and arm.
Met tried to kill the awkwardness of it all,
“So, how do you like it here?” he asked.
“Oh I love it here man…I love it…” Hamza replied, eyes glued on Met.
“Hamza, check it out, Met’s wearing your favourite colour!” I said, adding fuel to the fire.
“Oh yes…” said Hamza.
“Pink is a man’s colour…” he continued.
“See…” said Met.
“Dude, he’s only saying that cos he likes men in pink…” I said.
“You look good Met…you look really good…” said Hamza as he touched Met again.
He then went to the toilet for a shower.
“Join me Aman?” he asked.
“Nah, I’m fine buddy” I replied.
Met’s eyes lit up!
“Nah! See! He disturbed you!” he exclaimed.
“Well…when he’s ‘in the mood’, it can be a bit scary, but when he tries to get funny with me, I just have to be firm and put my foot down and he normally backs off” I said, with a firm face…trying my best to hide my laughter.
“Relax bro, I already told him to behave himself…what you’re seeing is him behaving!” I said, trying to get Met to relax.
He was tense.
Trying to make light the situation he said, trying to reassure me that he sees this kind of thing every day…
“It’s ok bro, it’s ok. I got friends like that. It’s ok…I know bro, I know, I have friends like this…”
YEAH RIGHT! 😉
YOU WERE SO SCARED!!! HAHA! 😀
Unfortunately, Met had to leave to pick his mum up so my cousin couldn’t say goodbye but just before Met got in the car, I told him…
“Met…my cousin’s not bi…I was just pulling your leg”
You should have seen Met’s face! He was relieved, angry and shocked all at the same time!!
“You bugger! You bloody bugger! I knew it! I knew it!!!” he yelled.
“No you didn’t, you fell for it…so hard” I said laughing.
“No man! I mean…his eyes man! Damn! So convincing! He’s a good actor! I swear man! I swear…Oh my God…” he said, very relieved.
So that was my great prank on Met.
I know it don’t sound like much on a web page, but you should have SEEN Met’s face. He was SO FREAKING SCARED…but that wasn’t the funny part…it was HOW he was trying his best to hide it!
We all know Met is Mr. Cool. He’s always under control and in control.
It was rather funny to see him out of control…but trying to imitate being in control…
Don’t worry bro, it’s all cool 🙂
*My wacky~~ friend*
Despite my lack of effort to prank the good people of my class, WE got pranked by Dr. Ulmar! What a sneaky fellow! And he did it so well!
The non-chalance of his execution! Perfect!
He was talking about sensory perception and then clicked on the next slide to show us the latest discovery of a new mammalian class!!
If you’re a scientist, this is a big thing.
It’s like coming up with a new button on the calculator in Maths or something :s
*We all got SUCKED IN!!!*
Me, being the ever-observant graphic analyser 😉 pointed out that the picture looked computer generated.
At which point, Dr. Ulmar knew the game was up and said,
“That’s what you get on the first of April!”
It’s fun to be fooled 🙂
* * *
And what a coincidence…
*The colour of the day…but black is always cooler!*
God I look chubby in that picture!
* * *
Alright you little nuggets!! I have to get back to my presentation due tomorrow!!!
I only have 2 slides so far…and the first one is just the title
But it’s ok…I’m a magician 😉
Stay safe everyone,
And don’t wear pink shirts around my cousin 😉
P.S. Happy Birthday Yati! Thank you so much for the lunch treat! You really shouldn’t have!
May Allah always guide you, give you rezki and happiness and always bring you closer to Him, Insha Allah.