Archive for the Booga Category

Where in the world is Aman Alhamid?

Posted in Booga, Funny, Holidays on June 2, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic

Salaams everyone!

And I suppose I owe everyone some sort of explanation for my silence these past couple of days, no?

Well, if you must know what I’ve been doing…then I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing…

Nothing 🙂

Hey…don’t laugh…’nothing’ ain’t cheap…

*People enjoy ‘nothing’ even though it’s expensive*

Ok, seriously though I’ve been getting back to playing video games 🙂

Yeah, my older brother has been playing the PS2 since forever…and all I do is just watch because I don’t want to start playing; you know cos then I don’t want to quit, wanna see the game through to the end. That’s why I reserve games for the holiday times 🙂

Practicing magic is bad enough during the semester! You can ask Met how that affects me!

So, I finally passed God of War II, which is THE BEST game ever put out on PS2, just after GoW I.

*I WILL make you suffer!!!*

Kratos is such a bad-ass and I so wanna be able to do what he does with his blades. Amazing 😛

And then, I decided to play the Wii and I am STILL playing it, enjoying it very much. Went and bought an armfull of games and plopped myself in front of the TV and played all through the night 😀

Ahh…love the holidays 🙂

Oh yeah, speaking of holidays!

I will be out of Brunei from June 2nd (today) to July 2nd (not today) 😀

Alhamdulillah, we have a great trip planned. The details of the trip I’ve kept to myself for such a long time because they weren’t confirmed until just recently.

Check this out:

Fly to Singapore on the 2nd of June, then on the 7th of June, we (myself, Booga, my grand mother and my grand aunty [Amati]) will go for ‘Umrah (Alhamdulillah); then on the 16th (I think) we’re going to….




I’m so excited! I’ve always always always wanted to go there!!!

The home of my forefathers 🙂

And I bet many of you don’t know this, but (out of sheer coincidence), the flag of Yemen consists of my 3 fave. colours; red, black & white 😀


See that? That’s a Yemeni flag…not a flag of India…not a flag of Bangladesh…I AM YEMENI baby! 😉

Hahaha, yeah, so anyway, will be going there on the 16th of June, Insha Allah and then will be leaving there on the 26th of June to Singapore. Will be staying in S’pore until the 2nd of July; at which time I should be returning to good old Brunei 🙂

Then from the 5th to the 15th of July, I’ll be going to Mulu with Dr. Ulmar and the rest of the research team to continue to adventures of Indiana Alhamid 😉

Alhamdulillah, will be kept pretty busy this holiday but I’m really looking forward to it 🙂

So yeah, don’t expect to hear from me (or this blog) during that time but I always check my Gmail so please, if you guys need anything, feel free to e-mail me and let me know, will try to get for you Insha Allah.

But please, don’t ask for ‘nothing’…it’s pretty expensive 😉

* * *

Take care and stay safe everyone,

May you enjoy your holidays one and all! 🙂




Posted in Booga, Islam on May 11, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic

Which means Mother’s Day in Arabic.

Helmi woke me up, “Aman wake up, hurry up! This is Mother’s Day you know!! Come on we’re going out soon! Get up! Get ready! Go! Go!”

“Yeah…I…yeah ok, ok.”, I replied.

He sat on the chair facing my bed.

“I’m gonna make sure you get up and get in the toilet”, he said.


“Yeah…I’m…yeah…ok, ok”, I replied.

As you can no doubt tell, my vocab early in the morning is utter crap.

Went to the toilet to wash my mouth so I can give my mum a good morning (or good mid-day) kiss.

Gave her that kiss 🙂

Went to the shower.

Had a shower.

Got ready and went to the Rizqun for lunch buffet and MAN was it crowded! Alhamdulillah, I got a parking space.

The Mother’s Day buffet was really good but for some reason I couldn’t eat that much 😦

Lamb was good 🙂

Lamb…is always…good 🙂

After lunch, Helmi bought some of the cake they had in Rizqun for my mum.

My mum, the little adorable Booga all dressed in pink, had a fun time 🙂



She thanked us for lunch when we got back to the car. I said ‘you’re welcome’ by covering her with kisses.

She deserved it! 😛

But yeah…

This Mother’s Day thing was more of Helmi’s planning and execution.

I probably would not have done anything.


Not because I don’t love my mum.

Has got nothing to do with that.

It’s that…

For me at least,

Mother’s Day is everyday.

And I am not just SAYING it…I mean it.

Why should you treat your mum, she who has heaven at her feet (I know, I checked!), have only one day set aside where you show her 100% devotion?

It should be everyday.

And I follow that rule very strictly.

I am not going to say all the things I do for her on a daily basis because we shouldn’t toot our horns about the good deeds we do.

But I’ll just say this:

After lunch I asked my mum,

“Ma…I don’t like celebrating Mother’s Day”

And she said, “Why?”

I said, “Because I feel Mother’s Day is everyday. And I consciously act that out. I want to show you 100% love all the time.”

She smiled.

“Do I make you feel like it’s Mother’s Day everyday Ma…?” I asked…

She looked at me and stroked my cheek,

“Yes you do Aman…yes you do”

Yay 😀

* * *

They can be annoying.

They can nag.

But they are our mothers.

So treat them how you would like your child to treat you, for God is fair – He will give back to you what you give to the most important person in your life – your mother.

Girls especially, you all will Insha Allah become mothers too!

So get close to the only living example you have!

I am very blessed and fortunate to have an angelic mother.

I doubt any words could describe how much I love her – so I let my actions do all the talking.

And they have a lot to say 🙂

Thankfully she is tolerant of all the hugs, kisses and snuggles I shower her with 😛

I asked my mum if she would miss all this attention if I got married someday (Insha Allah).

She looked at me with a look of relief and said, “Of course not! I’ve had enough!”

Then she paused…

Looked at me and said,

“Well…maybe a little”

Awwwwwwwww, she’s so small!

* * *

It’s not hard to love you Booga,

It’s hard not to.


Seed of Barakah

Posted in Black, Booga, Funny, Umar on May 7, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic


And we got 6 left to go…

Well, I have 6 exams left to go.

Alhamdulillah x 3, The paper was good. A pleasant paper that was, yes, indeed, rather.

I love pleasant papers like that. I can go to the loo and take a break from all that sitting down.

Let it be known; sitting down is hard work 😛

Nah, I went to the loo like 4 times during the paper!!

Drank lots of water the night before as well as earlier today, you see 😀

Yeah…I have this mouth ulcer…that really really really hurts 😦

AND it’s a big one…yeah, almost as big as the size of my pinkie nail!

Now that’s big!

You know what sucks?

Seeing/Reading about a full grown man complain about a wound smaller than a nostril.


So I’ll stop now 😛


I asked my mum what I could put on it to make it better (Mums always know these kind of things don’t they?) and she said habbat assaudah oil. Habbat assaudah (or also known as habbat albarakah – which literally means the seed of barakah or blessings) is the black seed that is widely sold in Saudi. Looks like this,

*Image from*

It’s also known as Black Cumen but if you want to be really fancy about it, it’s scientific name is Nigella sativa.

In Islamic medicine, this seed is held in very high regard (hence the name ‘seed of blessing’) and it has been used for hundreds of years.

And I conveniently forgot all about it.

So anyway my mum told me to use the black seed oil…and I asked, “Are you sure it’ll help?”

And she turned to me and said, “The Prophet P.B.U.H. once said that this seed can cure all diseases but death – I’m sure it can handle an ulcer”.

In the words of the Wacky Met…”~nyeah”.

I completely forgot about how we used to apply this oil to Umar’s lips when they crack (thanks to a cold night) and they healed by the end of the day!!

And look at his lips…

*You can’t touch this!*

There it is, Umar’s Infamous Pout.

Look at his good looks lah!

Umar! What are doing with such stunning good looks aye?! Huh? What are you doing with it huh?

Helmi got all the height and you got all the good looks and nice skin and everything!

I just got stuck with all the HAIR.

Hehehe, 😀

Yeah, but if your good looks were to be any indication of the beauty within you…I’d say it’s doing a pretty good job, little guy 🙂

Yup, you are our seed of barakah 🙂

I’ve already applied the oil.

Now I’m gonna try and see if my pout looks as good as his 😉

Good luck for the rest of your exams my friends!

Stay safe,

And [the seed] is BLACK!!! 😉


Love is Strange

Posted in Booga, Memories, Music on April 4, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic

I remember…


I was this young…

I remember being strapped into the seat of the old copper brown Nissan pulsar.

My mum (who, Masha Allah, still looks as young now as she did then), would pop in this cassette tape into the radio…and this song would come on…and she’d sing along as we drove.

And I’d help her shift gears 🙂

As a child, I would insist that I open and close the car door by myself…”NO! I can do it myself!!” I would yell, and if anyone were to defy me…you’re in for a world class tantrum 😉

The passion and emotion I would exhibit as a child, wailing and yelling and screaming…heh, me and my short fuse…my mum (who studied child psychology), did nothing to snub. According to her, she wanted me to have all this passion and emotion, so that one day I could use it wisely and properly. Perhaps to love my wife fully? Or to fight for Islam with a passion?

Either way, if ever I saw an injustice or I was not happy about something…I made sure you knew about it. And she liked that about me, the fact that even at the tender age of 4, I was willing to stand up for what I believed in.

So how then did my mum (BOOGA!) treat her cry-baby 4 year old? She would wait until her son stopped crying and over-acting…at which time she would take me to one corner and explain in terms I would understand and used logic to make me understand. She NEVER scolded me in public, she respected my pride even at such a young age, she knew that was important in child character development…which maybe explains my (over?) confidence?


All the aunties would tell her to just slap the crap out of the crying brat…but my mum, who was NOT being soft on me or anything…wanted to bring me up intelligently, such that I maintained the good qualities of childhood, in adulthood.

It is rather weird to have your mum tell you all these things 14 years after it happened…to know that your upbringing was preconceived was both cool and weird at the same time.

But I’m proud of the way my mum raised me, and the way she taught me life’s lessons. I still thank her, till today, for raising me the way she did.

Going to an International school, I was always surrounded by outside influence. One of my white friends saw me praying in a quiet corner. I explained to him why I did what I did.

He told me that he was Christian…and that they only pray once a week.

Once a week!


Now THAT’S a deal!

I’d better tell mum!

Our God is overworking us here!!

Got home and told mum about this new religion I found!

My mum looked at me…and I saw her mouth something silently (she read a small doa, so that Allah would guide her words).

She then looked at me and asked,

“Aman? How often do you play with and see your toys?”

“Everyday!” I replied.

“That’s right…would you like to only play with them once a week?” she asked.

“NO!” I replied.

“Why?”, she asked…my mum always always always made me think, so that I would learn lessons instead of being spoon-fed.

“Because I love them!” I said. I really did 🙂 Toys were my life 🙂

“Exactly!” she said, “Allah loves us…and He wants to see us everyday…why do we have to be so selfish so as to only let Him see us once a week?”

“Oh yeah…”, I replied, thinking about it…she made sense.

I then ran off to play with my toys 🙂







And the song playing in the car was Mickey & Sylvia’s ‘Love is Strange‘, and everytime I hear it…I’m strapped back in the stiff seat of that old copper brown Nissan.


Stay safe everyone,

And 20 years down the road, I still open and close the car door myself 😉



Posted in Booga, Poems on March 26, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic

I miss her.


I miss her alot.


I miss her smell.


I miss her softness.


I miss her cheeks.


I miss her warm embrace.


I miss her words of comfort.


That’s right ladies and gentlemen…be prepared to roll your eyes…


I miss my mummy 😦





I’ll admit it proudly just in case you are unaware, I am very much a Mama’s boy. Nothing warms my heart more than to see her smile.

And she’s so small!!


Alhamdulillah, she is alive and well, Alhamdulillah.

It’s just…

I miss her.

She’s in S’pore now, well, she was in KL a couple of hours ago to visit my grand aunty, so yeah.

She’s been gone since last Thursday…and she should be back this Friday Insha Allah.

Please pray she arrives home safe and sound!! 🙂

Actually, this time around, my missing her is not so bad, perhaps it’s cos I have alot of things on my mind, but I do feel an emptiness in the house. The lack of hugs and kisses is of course noticeable!

I remember how bad it used to be when I was younger, like when I was 7 or so and my mum had to leave, I’d always fall sick…somehow or another. It sucked because I was staying with family and it sort of troubled them, but yeah, can’t help it right?

It got really bad when I had to go to Singapore for my National Service. The first 2 months were the worst.

I remember the pain I would feel inside…being in a place I didn’t want to be…away from the people I loved and away from what I’m supposed to be doing…

I was so depressed and I felt so lost…eventhough Singapore is where I was born and the majority of my immediate family is there…I felt like a stranger in another country.

I grew up here, in good ol’ Brunei.

Brunei is home 🙂

Singapore was just…a mad rush poorly disguising itself as life.

Living there, I remember not a day went by that I didn’t miss her. As a result, I called her pretty much every day. That phone call, I reckon, was the only thing keeping my sanity in check.

Needless to say, my phone bill was close to $300 every month.

Money well spent, says I.

Living in S’pore drove me nuts…literally. To hear her soothing voice at the other end of the line was something I always looked forward to.

I remember not having a proper place to stay during my first few weeks there…the only ‘home’ I had initially was the Police Academy…sounds weird right?

My Dad wanted me to ‘stand on my own 2 feet’, something I rather appreciate now, looking back.

But such lessons aren’t learnt without costs.

It was really painful to be so alone and unloved, when just a week before you were surrounded by the people you love and got a warm embrace every time you left your room.

I remember sitting on top of my bunk bed in the barrack at night…writing this poem for my mum in my little notebook.


Throughout my life, you’ve been by my side to help me and hold my hand.

But now the time has come for me to go alone, to face life, its pains and joys, all by my own.

I love you more than any words could come close to describing and yet, I still feel that you need to be loved more.

Just like our Prophet, when God put you on this world, He not only did this world a favor, but mankind as well.

But to me, He gave me something so priceless and precious that I doubt I could eat, sleep, live or breathe without you.

I hope and pray that the time when we meet again will arrive sooner than we think, and the time we are together is as long as eternity itself.

I love you my dear mother and I want you to know that you are the air that fills my lungs, the substance that makes my heart beat, the life that flows through my veins.

Without you, for me, there is no life.

So lifeless I will be,

until we meet,


* * *


I remember weeping in the dark as I wrote that.

Melodramatic huh?

Well, when your parents divorced when you’re young and your mother brought you up single-handedly, teaching you everything you know…making you the man you are now…perhaps then you would understand, just how important she is to me.

Looking back at my writing in my little notebook…I still get a lump in my throat…I can see the pain in my handwriting…if that’s possible?

Heh, I remember typing all of this out when I got out of the Academy and sending it to my mum, after printing it on a fancy piece of paper.

4 years ago, I sent it to my mum.


4 years ago, my mum read it and loved it.


4 years ago, she pinned it on her board in front of her study desk.


4 years later…it’s still there.


Stay safe everybody,

And don’t worry…I’m calling her right now 🙂


Are You Watching Closely…?

Posted in Booga, Magic, Movies on March 19, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic

Salaams everyone 🙂

Just watched ‘The Prestige’ (for the third/fourth time) on DVD just now.

In case it wasn’t inherently obvious…I love the movie.


For one thing, it’s about Magic 🙂

For another thing, the cast is brilliant, with top notch acting all the way through.

And for another thing still, the story is genius, absolute genius.

In a world where B-grade movies are flying out of Hollywood faster than a speeding bullet, seeing a solid, good movie is a rare treat.

Granted, this movie came out about 2 years ago, but the date of release of ANYTHING good is of no importance to me.

Quality is quality, no matter when it was released.

For me, my logic for movies (and music) is ‘latest isn’t always the greatest’, hehe, all my friends know that.

Christopher Nolan (watch anything this man releases) directed this movie SO well.

Now, I’ve watched it a number of times, I know the story, I know the lines…and yet, I’m still fooled.

The acting is THAT good.

If you know the story and you know the role Christian Bale plays…watch it again and see if you can notice when he is ‘himself’ and when he’s not.

There’s a scene where he says to his wife,

“I love you,”

“Say it again,” she replies.

“I love you,” he repeated.

“No, not today you don’t,” she says.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“There are some days that you mean it and some days that you don’t. Maybe today you love magic more than me,” she said with a smile.

So patient she is 🙂

ANYWAY, knowing the story and what that conversation really alluded to, I was stunned by Bale’s acting; I could actually tell when he ‘meant’ it and when he didn’t, his acting is that good. You’re gonna have to watch the movie again if you want to catch that out though.

But it’s the sincerity. How can you act that well?


What I love about the movie is that it shows the lows that 2 men are willing to go through, thanks to obsession.


Both Jackman and Bale are magicians trying to outperform each other, there’s only one problem.

Jackman is a lousy ‘magician’ but a good showman. He can take a tired old trick and perform it well.


Bale is an amazing ‘magician’ but a horrible showman. He can’t perform for nuts, no matter HOW good the trick.


In fact ‘magician’ is not the word to use, it’s ‘magical engineer’, the guy who comes up with the trick. The man who comes up with the method behind the magic.

Problem is, both of them are obsessed about what the other one has, that they lack.

So yeah, watching the movie, you’ll see the brilliance in Bale’s eyes as he watches another magician perform. He’ll scoff at how simple the method to the trick really is. Jackman will just sit there dumbfounded, he can’t figure it out.

Now, you will learn one or two things about magic watching the movie, but these aren’t secrets we use anymore (or rarely) so it’s ok 🙂


*Up your sleeve*

What you’ll learn most importantly is the principles of magic, the key one being Jackman’s speech to Bale at the end, about why magic is performed.

Having said all that, this movie is really me, I must say. Being a HUGE Wolverine fan (way way back since 1994) and a big fan of Batman and of course a lover of magic…this movie is RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.

SO glad that the story and production is good, Alhamdulillah.

And of course Chris Nolan (WATCH HIS MOVIES!) does a great job. The first Nolan movie I ever watched was ‘Memento’ and I still remember it today. It was that good.

So, if you haven’t watched this movie, do it now 🙂

It’s a solid 10/10 for me.

* * *

Had lunch with Met, Jeff and the Az-man!

The Capers All You Can Eat was really great. I have a love/hate r’ship with buffets, I love it cos…it’s a buffet, but I hate it because it sort of encourages you to overeat or overindulge? Know what I mean? You feel that you should eat as much as you can to justify the price you paid, when in actuality, a simple sandwich would have sufficed?

Anyway, that’s a bit off topic.

The lunch was very good, Capers do fantastic Italian dishes.

Coming from a home where we cook Italian food (Alhamdulillah), pasta isn’t exactly the first thing I look for when I leave the house, know what I mean? So I normally go for the Italian pizzas, which they did very well too.

But the cream of the crop, as it were, was definitely the Linguini Carbonara with Salmon (I think that’s what it’s called anyway!), of which we had 3 plates 🙂


After that we went to Q-lap mall for a bit. Met wanted to get his ‘secret ingredient’ (so homo) and while we were there, I happened to perchance upon a WACKY~~ shirt for Met.


*So wacky~~*

Can’t you see him wearing that? XD


Then we had a Microbio prac and I was drained, the lack of sleep the night before caught up with me and I was absolutely useless to the group.

Major apologies guys!

Needless to say, when I got home I hit the sack and woke up around 10pm. It’s 2am now.

My Booga is flying off to S’pore tomorrow to sort a few things out 🙂

But I’m gonna miss her 😦

She’ll be gone for a week 😦

Who am I gonna hug now?

Met…sorry bro…but that’s what friends a for yeah? 😉

Anyway, thanks all for taking the time to read this, I shall reward you (hehe) by showing you one of my MOST watched magic clips. I have it on DVD, but yeah found it on Youtube. I love his performance, it is perfect.

Won him numerous awards and he now has his own show (and theatre!) in Las Vegas.

*Lance Burton*

I hope one day I’ll be as cool as him 🙂

Instead of doing silly tricks with matches…that break in half on you while everyone is watching :s

Stay safe everyone,

And don’t do tricks with matches, they break and make you look silly 🙂


Moron Loves Chocolate Flavoured Biology

Posted in Biology, Booga, Islam on March 18, 2008 by smoothcriminalmagic


Salaams one and all!

Be welcoming, be welcoming 😉

Righto, so today, we had an Animal Physio test! Which I have to admit, I was rather psyched for…but didn’t fully prepare and let’s be honest, no one is ever fully prepared…well, maybe except a select few 😉

*Warningus Toadus*

Alhamdulillah, the test was not THAT bad 🙂

And thanks to Fauzan for breaking the silent tension when the test paper was being distributed with a heart-felt, “CRAP!” upon receiving the question paper! Hahaha! Nice one bro!

I seriously love Animal studies, honestly. I am gonna try my best to get to work with Dr. Ulmar when I specialize next year Insha Allah, all you kind people, please make doa’ for me yeah?


*Mantella baroni.

Poisonous, yes but check out the colours!!!!*

You know, Biology is the only subject I’ve ever studied that has made me say, ‘SubhanAllah’ more than any other subject I’ve ever studied…and that includes Maths (to which I usually say ‘Astaghfirullah’).

That’s why I love Bio so much 🙂

It’s the only subject that you are truly allowed to take a peek at the GENIUS that is Allah.


Check out our ‘guest star’ during our plant practical on Saturday!

*A flying snake*

That’s right, this snake can fly.

Alright, maybe not literally, but it DOES glide. It leaps from the tops of trees and flattens its body out to increase uplift. As it falls it moves its body…like…a…snake.


Well, it’s not gonna move like a cow now is it?

Anyway, yeah, it can glide from a higher tree to a lower tree, hence the name, ‘Flying Snake’ 🙂

So, anyway I was supposed to jog at the track today…supposed to…

But I was at the library, stocking up on my books for my geo essay and I got so sucked into the whole topic I felt like I wanted to get started right away (lookit me now! WAHEY!) so I decided to skip the jogging.

Had to pick up chocolates for my little Booga:



What is that?



NutyMax is alot like the Kinder Bueno chocolates…but NICER. Less milky, more hazelnut praline…ALOT more…

Morinaga is a chocolate from Japan (in case the name didn’t tip you off). Funnily, the chocolate taste and wrapper look ALOT like the Meiji chocolate bar but yeah, they’re both nice.

If you’re like me, and you sometimes like to have simple tasting milk chocolate, then get a Morinaga bar. It’s not like regular chocolate, it’s slightly different.

It is light, so you don’t feel sick after eating alot of it (which has its drawbacks), has slightly more cocoa, so it has a slight dark chocolate taste…but it’s not, it’s milk chocolate 🙂

It’s also not TOO sweet.

And since it’s thin…it melts when you pop one in 🙂

AND it goes SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO well, with my latte 🙂


My mum LOVES it, she tried it and went, “Yummy yummy yummy…eating something this nice should be a sin!”

Hhehehe, awwwwww, little Booga 🙂

And so there you have it, the Japanese not only make good cars, but chocolates too 🙂

So yeah, after I left the shop, I sat in my car and ate a NutyMax (hey, I didn’t have lunch…) and then while stuck in traffic I ate 2 more chocolates 🙂

That’s when I felt bad. I only set one day aside to get physically active and I decided to skip it and eat chocolate?

So I got home and since it wasn’t too dark, I managed to do a little jogging done around my neighborhood 🙂

Unfortunately, some wise-guy neighbor of mine thought it’d be really cool if he burnt some leaf litter. So yeah, breathing in such smoke is not pleasant. Jogging means your lungs are hungry for air, I ain’t gonna feed it the smoke from someone’s idea of useful combustion.

Burning leaf litter is wrong.

Dr. Charles would tell you that too…


*Burning leaf litter is pathetic*


It’s gotta be true coming from the HOD of Bio 🙂

So yeah, thanks to that I only could run around in circles in my driveway…like a…moron.

Even the neighbors looked on to see this strange hairy moronic creature make his rounds in front of his house.

Spotted a lizard (camouflaged quite well too) chilling on one of the potted plants checking me out. Bet he’s thinking, “What kind of moron runs around in circles…?”

And everytime I passed him his head would always be at a different angle…I think he wanted to make sure I was a complete moron.

I don’t think I disappointed 🙂

Speaking of plants…


*Not too sure of the species, but it sure is purrty*

* * *

Ok then you lot, although I don’t have anything due immediately tomorrow (which is rare for this magical procrastinator) I would like to get to work.

On what you say?

Might I remind those who are in the same boat as I, that we have to hand in our English Reviews NEXT week…that’s right, and Dr. Kushan’s report is due on the same day too 🙂

Now might be a good time… 😛

Stay safe everybody,

And don’t run around in circles…people (& lizards) will think you’re a moron.

I speak from experience 🙂